I went to see the latest, and we now know, final Downton Abbey film at the weekend. 

It was fantastic. I hope I'm not ruining it for anyone by referencing Lady Mary's divorce. The film is set in 1930, 47 years before the modern law, The Matrimonial Causes Act 1973 and 90 years before The Divorce, Dissolution and Separation Act 2020, which came into effect in April 2022.

I couldn't help but be shocked at the portrayal of how a divorced woman was treated by the society elite. Not permitted to attend parties, and at one stage, she had to hide under the stairs when royalty arrived. And in the case of Lady Mary, she was the ‘wronged’ party, the Respondent, in proceedings she brought for divorce based on her husband's adultery. And although we didn't see it, I expect her husband went about life as usual.

Before 2022 and for over 35 years as a divorce lawyer, I had found the system of blame uncomfortable, which encouraged animosity from the get-go. We know there can be more than enough of that without the binary judgement of who is at fault in the marriage.

So now we acknowledge the reality; marriages fail not because of one partner's behaviour. There is ‘fault' on both sides and sometimes neither. 

Lady Mary would be turning in her grave!