Whilst admittedly I am not a huge football fan, I can appreciate the passion, excitement and unity the World Cup brings every four years.

Almost 6 years ago in 2018, the National Centre for Domestic Violence released statistics that Domestic Violence increases by 38% if England loses during the World Cup. Of course, it must be remembered that these statistics only encompass those incidents which are reported and that the actual figure is likely to be much higher. 

Even when England wins, the statistics tell us that Domestic Violence increases by 26% and that win or lose, the statistics for the next day are that Domestic Violence increases by 11%. 

Whilst those statistics have not yet been updated, we know more generally that reports of domestic abuse/violence are on the rise, so it is believed that those stats will have only increased over time. 

How to help

If you suspect that someone may be in an abusive relationship, you could try and find a safe space and time to talk to them to let them know that you're there for help and support. It is thought that many people experiencing domestic abuse don't' disclose that they are at risk until they are asked - so don't leave it to someone else to start the conversation. 

Conversations are always best had face to face - there is a risk that if conversations are held over the phone or via social media their partner may find the messages and retaliate against them or you. 

Importantly, do not confront the abuser. Doing so may endanger you, the victim or their children. 

What to say?

Avoid using the labels ‘domestic abuse’ or 'domestic violence' as many people don't want to identify with these labels; the stigma attached to abuse or may not have recognised the abuse within their relationship. To start a conversation, try asking the person how things are in their relationship or mention things you have noticed: “I've noticed you don't seem too good, is everything okay?” (example only). 

If the person starts to open up and talk about the abuse, try to listen with a supportive attitude and an open mind. Whilst it can be difficult not to offer opinions; criticism or blame - this is unhelpful as it could lead to the person becoming guarded and less likely to talk to you or others later. 

If the person doesn't disclose abuse, don't press them or pry, but reassure them that you are there to help and support them. 

Whilst highly tempting, you should be careful not to offer ‘advice’ - this should be left to experts. While telling a person to leave the relationship may be a knee-jerk response, this could be highly risky and could leave the person vulnerable. There is usually a multitude of reasons why this may not be appropriate i.e. risk of homelessness; lack of financial resources; fear. Often leaving a relationship needs to be done over time and with expert assistance to make sure it is done safely and to alleviate/overcome those barriers. 

You don't have to have all the answers. You will be breaking the silence around the situation simply by listening. 

Support services

There are several organisations that they can contact if they want to get help including (non-exhaustive list): 

If you feel that you/someone else is in immediate danger you should contact the Police on 999. 

• Freephone 24-hour National Domestic Violence Helpline run by Refuge on 0808 2000 247.
• Contact Women’s Aid.
• Men’s Advice Line 0808 801 0327
• Galop is the LGBT+ anti-violence charity which runs the National LGBT+ Domestic Abuse Helpline 0800 999 5427 Or email help@galop.org.uk
• There’s also a helpline offering advice, information and support for men who want to stop being violent and abusive towards their partner:
  Respect Phoneline 0808 802 4040
• You can find your local domestic abuse service on the Domestic Abuse Directory.
• Women’s Aid has also created The Survivor’s Handbook, a comprehensive resource for women experiencing domestic violence.

There is of course legal advice that can be accessed and steps which can be taken to obtain Non-molestation Orders; Occupation Orders; Domestic Violence Protection Orders as well as Child Arrangements Orders (for matters involving children). 

In my experience, legal advice works best when delivered in conjunction with other support services, to ensure that clients have access to resources; help and assistance at all times. Often accessing legal advice is a secondary step taken after support services have been accessed.

 Irrespective of where a person may be on their journey, for help accessing legal advice, please contact the family team on 0121 212 7417.